To Suffer Well. These words have been rattling around in my head all
week. I’ve been trying to wrap my mind around them, understand exactly
what they mean. I understand them each separately, but putting them
together has got me thinking and questioning. Is there really a way to
suffer well?
Joel asked on Sunday for those that have suffered to stand. So, I
hesitated but then I stood with the others. I have suffered, but when
Joel told those seated to look at us standing and that we are examples
of suffering but more importantly examples of suffering well. I have
to admit, I wanted to sit right back down. You see, for awhile I let
“my suffering” define who I was. I let it engulf me. I blamed my
failures on it. I used it as an excuse to justify my behaviors. I
pushed people away because of it. I was selfish because of it. I
questioned my faith because of it.
So, you see, I don’t think I “suffered well” and I certainly don’t
feel like I should be an example to others on what to do when
suffering but maybe more of an example of what not to do. So those
words have been resounding in my head and in my heart “suffer well.
suffer well. suffer well.” Even as soon as I sat down in church, I
began to feel guilty and ashamed. That’s not me. I shouldn’t have
been standing. I should be the one that is looking at those that were
standing and seeing how they did it. It weighed on me and I carried it
around for the next few days. “suffer well. suffer well. suffer well.”
So I got out my bible and looked at Romans 5 again … “we can rejoice,
too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help
us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character,
and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation…” was what
spoke to me. Strengthens our confident hope of salvation – I like
that. So I let that part rattle around in my mind with the “suffer
well” and just prayed that it would all make sense to me.
Well, it wasn’t till last night as I sat with some very dear friends
that I finally began to see things a bit more clearly. I shared with
them my “rattlings” of late. I stated what I felt about not being an
example of “suffering well” and I said that I wouldn’t want for anyone
to suffer what I had suffered or go through what I experienced while
suffering. I even said that I was glad that God had put all of that
suffering on me instead of someone else and at that moment I realized
that my suffering, my journey through suffering had been and still is
strengthening my “confident hope of salvation”. I suffered my story
because He knew that through my suffering I would grow. I was forced
to face trials of fear, guilt, shame, anger, loss and sadness. I was
tested on my confidence, my trust, my strength, my independence, my
love and my faith. He knew that I would endure. And I have to say that
from where I am standing today, at this moment …. things are well.
submitted by: Gaby Barnes
submit your story: mystory@dutchfork.com
I totally agree. It’s encouraging to hear this from you, and wonderful that you shared. I felt very similarly that Sunday and the week that followed. I was one who stood. And as Joel described those standing I also wanted to sit down. I have always had the Lord in my heart, but I surely didn’t hold tight to His grace and mercy as I “struggled” in the past years. Especially during the darkest days of my life. Yes, He was the light at the end of my tunnel but I couldn’t see that light during. I pray I can learn from those around me how to truly “suffer well”. Because I know another time will come for me!