Hi, my name is Ray Kussro, and I am a sinner saved by Grace. This is something that I need to let everyone know up front so that they understand the predicament that I found myself in and the way out that Jesus Christ provided for me. I do not talk about my sin life very often. I know that my friends and family get to see it firsthand sometimes, but that it about the extent that it is seen. You see, I am pretty good at hiding and masking the sins that keep me tied up.
I suffer from anxiety and it manifests itself in a number of ways in my life. I worry about things in an unhealthy way, often to irrational levels. I worry about finances for my family. I stress about the remodeling projects that I have going. I sometimes freak out about the state of things at church and why God has allowed me to be in a position of leadership. These fears usually start the moment I wake up and think about what I have to do that day. I have this random whirlwind of thoughts and what-if scenarios running all day long.
To cope with these thoughts and fears I have found a few things that have given me relief. I have found food. Fast food. Unhealthy food. Eating has been an escape. Procrastination is another way that I act out as a means to avoid the things that I am worried about. I will get “busy” doing things that distract me from the things that I need to be doing. I will avoid the work I don’t want to face by acting busy doing something else. Television is another escape for me. What better way to shut my mind down for a few hours than to escape into mindless channel surfing. It is so relaxing because I do not have to think about it at all.
This sin life has a devastating effect on my family. I am stressed out and out of shape. I am tired and overwhelmed a lot. The crazy part for me is that I know the answers to my problems and yet so often I refuse to do the things that I need to do to get on track. My wife Gina is a woman with an extraordinary amount of patience and grace toward her troubled husband. I am so thankful for her as well as friends that truly have kept me afloat when things seem there worst. With help I have managed to keep upright for the most part, but I want so much more!
I know that I need to confess my sins and repent. I have told a friend and now I am telling you that I am giving up fast food. I have tried dieting before because i wanted to lose weight, but never as a means to grow closer to God. The Kussro’s are giving up cable television. We will try to limit the amount of watching tv that we have been accustomed to. I want to read the Bible more, pray more, exercise more, and spend productive time with my family. I have been praying over 1 Peter 5 and I have copied it below. It speaks to so many areas in my life! I want the Word of God to transform me more and more into the likeness of my Savior Jesus Christ. Please pray for me as I continue down this road of sanctification. May my life truly be a sacrifice of praise.
I thank you in advance for your prayers.
1 Peter 5: 1-11
5:1 So I exhort the elders among you, as a fellow elder and a witness of the sufferings of Christ, as well as a partaker in the glory that is going to be revealed: 2 shepherd the flock of God that is among you, exercising oversight, [1] not under compulsion, but willingly, as God would have you; [2] not for shameful gain, but eagerly; 3 not domineering over those in your charge, but being examples to the flock. 4 And when the chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the unfading crown of glory. 5 Likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders. Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”
6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, 7 casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. 8 Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. 9 Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. 10 And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. 11 To him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen.
submitted by: Ray Kussro
submit your story: mystory@dutchfork.com
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